Starkology

“A LIGHTWEIGHT NON-GREASY PHILOSOPHY THAT YOU AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY WILL LOVE!”

The concept of Starkology was first revealed to me in a dream. In this dream I was approached by Messep, the God of Messages, one of a group of as yet unrevealed modern gods. Messep instructed me to build the “Channeling Chair” and that if I sat in that chair the rest of the gods would be revealed to me and that they would bring forth a new philosophy. I asked him what this new philosophy would be called, and he said, “Why, Starkology, of course.”

Follow Starkology:

The Gods

Achemillia – The Goddess Of Flowers

One of the most delicate and beautiful goddesses in the Modern Mythology, Starkology, Achemillia is also one of the oldest. Having been around since the beginning of the Earth, she has long been courted by both Liquidous, The God of Water, and Clod, The God of Dirt. Their rivalry for her affections and her unwillingness to choose between the two, has often caused many storms and calamities for the people of the world. Though many have suffered because of her suitors, most everyone loves and appreciates Achemillia’s beauty and gentleness.

Ayona - The Goddess Of Rainbows

In the Modern Mythology, Starkology, Ayona is the Goddess of Rainbows. A very kind and loving goddess, Ayona spends much of her time creating, or rather knitting, rainbows for the world to enjoy. Making her home in the clouds, she sits upon a golden throne and rides a magic carpet that enables her to follow storms around the world in order to spin her gifts as a sign that the storm is over. Her creations bring much joy to people and several myths and legends have been created about her gifts, making her a very popular deity.

Cafenatus – The God Of Coffee

Cafenatus is NOT a morning god! Mostly because Cafenatus tends to stay up late every night and, second, because, for some reason,he wakes each day with an angry two-headed serpent at his feet. The creature known as Grumpass is a manifestation of Cafenatus’s personality without caffeine and can only be calmed with a cup of Holy Coffee, (preferably served black with no sugar). In fact, this ritual coffee drinking must take place every morning or Grumpass will take control, and Cafenatus will be HELL to be around the WHOLE DAY!

Dar Kon – The God of Night

Dar Kon rules the night and oversees all the nocturnal creatures of the earth. Every night Dar Kon travels the earth on the giant wings of a Luna Moth. Guided by the light of the moon, he is usually accompanied by a host of large, celestial lightning bugs. Because of his Black Panther fur, humans seldom see Dar Kon as he traverses the world of darkness. To catch a glimpse of him is considered a great blessing and many successful people have attributed their good fortune to spotting the dark god at some point in their lives.

Eterna – The Goddess of Diamonds

Though thousands of years old, Eterna, still shines today with unparalleled brilliance. A goddess that is often associated with other positive deities in Starkology, such as Valentina, the Goddess of Love, she is also, unfortunately, sometimes linked with the God of Greed, Groshus. But no matter who might claim her, Eterna always shines with the glow of the sun and stars. It is believed that Eterna imbues every diamond with a celestial spirit. This must account for the diamond’s eternal brightness, for there is nothing else on earth that shines like a diamond, and, after all… diamonds are forever.

Insectio – The God of Insects

It’s said that Insectio and his kind will be around long after man has ceased to exist. If that’s true, then it might explain Insectio’s extremely laid back attitude. Though his charges seem to be awfully frenetic at times, Insectio moves through life like a tortoise on valium, because he knows that in order to survive the long haul one must keep his cool. And keeping his cool is easy for a deity that knows the value of a nice suit and polished wings. Though he might seem to come across as quiet and reserved, Insectio is actually quite social and is always up for an outdoor party, picnic or any other type of gathering. In fact, its almost impossible to keep him away!

KimSee – The God of Fireworks

The God of Fireworks is one of the most colorful gods in Starkology. His power to create spectacular displays of fire and light derive from his magical sword, the Arion Star, which was a gift to him from Combustus, the God of Fire and Xevanna, the Goddess of the Stars. Forged deep in a volcano by Compustus and embued with the briliance of stars by Xevanna, KimSee’s mighty sword can produce spectacular aerial and ground displays to the amazement of people everywhere. Though an ancient god, due to KimSee’s amazing abilities, his popularity grows more every day.

McMerc – The God Of Fast Food

In the history of the world, McMerc is a very young god. His origins have been traced to somewhere in the United States during the mid part of the twentieth century. Although he got his start in America, he has spread his influence far and wide and many chapels to this god have appeared around the world. This rather large deity has many part-time followers with only a modest level of devotion. But McMerc thrives on those believers that feel they must visit his chapels on a daily basis (sometimes three times a day!). This has made the God of Fast Food one of the most wealthy among the gods.

Messep - The Messenger God

Though Messep is one of the smallest of the Starkology gods, he is also one of the most powerful. Spanning centuries, Messep has been responsible for the world’s ability to communicate with each other. Not only has he been responsible for delivering messages all this time, but he has also helped inspire technological advances throughout time. Not only do we have him to thank for cell phones, but I suppose he must be responsible for carrier pigeons as well.

Piefasus - The God Of Circus Clowns

Over the years many have wondered at the magic of clowns. Their skill to inspire laughter is often matched by their ability to conjure nightmares. Though many people love clowns, almost as many have an abject fear of them. All of the good and evil of clowns can be traced to one entity… Piefasus, the God of Circus Clowns. This god revels in both the good and ill will that he inspires. Every clown, from rank amateur birthday clown to the professional merry-maker, have learned their craft from the master.

Verdela – The Goddess of House Plants

A shy and quiet deity, Verdela is seldom seen by her followers, but they are devoted to her nonetheless. Many people have built shrines in their homes to this goddess by filling their houses with an abundance of beautiful house plants. You can always tell which individuals are favored by this goddess by how healthy and well cared for their house plants are. To these people Verdela has placed the blessing of the coveted “Green Thumb.” Sadly, others have not been as fortunate, as Verdela has bestowed upon them the horribly unwanted “Black Thumb.” Try as they might these individuals just don’t seem to be able to grow ANYTHING, thus they need to work harder to appease the Green Goddess.

Vinucia – The Goddess Of Vinyl Record Albums

One of the newer deities, Vinucia didn’t gain massive popularity until the 1960’s. Before then, Singolese, the God of 45’s, was the dominant spiritual being. With the advent of the LP, Vinucia appeared to protect vinyl record albums against pops, skips and warps, while Singolese was relegated to the cut-out bin of the gods. Vinucia soon became a very prominent celestial being and was often seen by her followers, especially if those followers happened to also be followers of Headicus, the God of Cannibus and listening to Pink Floyd at the time. Though her popularity has waned, it is said that Vinucia still has a strong and devoted following among audiophiles.